Even while still in diapers, I was known in my family as being a little chatty, sassy, “go-go” baby. I was always on the move and I made sure that you knew exactly what you were supposed to do when we played in my Kitchenette.
But as time went on, I learned to dim my shine. People told me I was too big, too loud, too bossy- and I believed them.
I became passive, quiet, and tomboy-ish, trying to hide my body and my boisterousness from the world.
I became what other people wanted me to be- quiet- and held onto that persona like it was a shield.
As time went on, I did what the sensible and responsible would do. I checked all the boxes- graduated with a business degree, married my now husband, scored a high-paying job, new apartment, and a puppy! #GOALS
While it all looked perfect on paper, inside I was hiding a little girl that still, after all this time, didn't know who she was or what she genuinely wanted out of life.
I blankly looked in the mirror trying to recognize myself. I couldn’t see myself anywhere in the life that I had actively created.
I was slowly starting to realize that I couldn’t feel that spark in my gut for anything. I rapidly gained weight, withdrew from friends and completely lost interest in all activities other than Netflix and wine.
My turning point came about a year after college. My mental health was so depreciated, due to my high stress job, that I knew that I had to leave that job or it might of cost me everything. I was told to be tougher and stop being so immature.
I was being tested against my own logical thinking.
I was plagued with one question:
What did Sarah want to do?
So I did something for the first time in my life- I stood up for myself. I quit my high-stress job (taking a major pay cut in the process). I knew it had to be done.
After that, I continued slowly tackling the issues I’d identified answering the question of what I wanted. I shocked everyone and made a major dietary decision- I became vegan overnight! I went from overweight, addicted to fast food and drinking boxes of wine per week to completely and cold turkey vegan.
I was so moved by the documentaries that I had found on Netflix and my intuition was going CRAZY over how aligned the lifestyle was for me. I had never felt my intuition so strongly, so I knew I couldn’t just ignore it! It was my sign!
I didn’t know what to do but I knew I was meant to be vegan and bring that consciousness into the world.
For the first time in a long time, I felt strong, capable and that my voice and choices made a difference.
I could actually impact the world and I had a purpose.
From there on, I quickly progressed into reevaluating my self esteem, getting to know the real me and focusing on my personal power.